Dwarves Do Not Heal

You might know the Dwarves for quickly self-destructing live shows that boasted violence, nudity, and overt drug consumption. You might know ‘em as the band whose song titles run the gamut from “Eat You to Survive” and “Get Pregnant” to “Fuck You Up and Get High” and “Satan.” You probably don’t know ‘em as the band that helped pioneer neo-garage rock, grunge, and pop-punk before any such genre was deemed marketable to frat pigs. Well, that could change, particularly if you give the band’s new record, The Dwarves Come Clean, a couple of spins. Dwarves frontman Blag Dahlia attempts to explain.

JPec: You say the new record “ties everything together” that the Dwarves have been about since 1986’s Horror Stories. Can you elaborate?

Dahlia: Well, I got everybody that was ever in the Dwarves, plus a buncha people that weren’t, to play on it. It’s a totally schizophrenic record – there’s no rhyme or reason to it. It’s got really hardcore songs that are quite offensive, unpleasant, and hard to listen to. Then it’s got weird, kind of  speedmetal-ly shit for the bonehead jocks. Then poppy shit for soppy girls. The whole thing is just… you know…sick.

JPec: So what exactly are you trying to accomplish with this approach?

 Dahlia: I wanna sleep with girls that are half my age.

JPec: Does that explain the tune, “There Better Be Women”?

Dahlia: No. That song was written about an idiot -- me -- who goes to a party and attempts to hit on a bunch of lesbians. And fails miserably. It’s about every male’s fantasy -- and the actual reality of it.

JPec: What about the shock rock tag – does it bother you?

Dahlia: I suppose we are shock rock -- as well as a bunch of other things. I’m a songwriter. I’ve been writing songs the whole time, it’s just people didn’t really notice them…it was more like people ducking debris or trying to hide their girlfriends. And also because the production of the records was real raw -- out of necessity. But I like shock rock as much as I like going to see fuckin’, well, you know, CATS. My ambition is to do any and all of those things just because I can.

JPec: CATS? Say what?

Dahlia: [laughs] I never even saw CATS. I don’t even give a fuck about CATS. I was just trying to make a point. And it obviously didn’t work.

Originally published in Alternative Press magazine.

--el rey