Subject: Re: The irony, and I don't mean like iron
From: "El Rey" <elrey@godlessmotherfucker.com>
Date: Thu, December 5, 2002 11:12 pm
To: <adam_the_incontinent@*****.com>

Heh heh heh. Somebody's very, very angry. Thanks for the giggles, mate.
But since you're clearly never going to stop writing me, we need to get
one thing straight: you can "take the piss out of" Bush till kingdom
come, bust his "arse" all you want, call him "shite" as much as you will
-- you'll get nothing but applause from me for it. That Bush is a moron
is beyond debate. However, the fact that Tony Blaire is in the back
pocket of a moron should give you pause to reflect. England, after all,
is one of the few countries backward enough to back the USA in this Iraq
business. And I won't even cheapshot you on the press your "Royal"
Family's been getting of late.

Aluminum. ALUMINUM. A-L-U-M-I-N-U-M!!!!! We can spell words however we
want, just like you can take a German concoction called bier and rename
it "beer." And on the topic, if it weren't for us backward Yanks
getting suckered into your last big war, you'd be speaking GERMAN now
anyway. The least you could do, in recompense for your not having to
grovel at the cleated boots of fascists, is to let us spell ALUMINUM any
way we choose. But this rule of grammar applies to both of us: You
are=you're. So when you say, "This language is the most widely used in
the world, your just bitter..." you really need to throw in an
apostrophe. Let me illustrate the usages again for you: "YOU'RE just
bitter that you have piss-yellow teeth and YOUR name is Ian."
The apostrophe rule is English, not an Americanized version of English.
We pretty much kept that one intact. And it also applies to such phrases
as "you still blame us for the mess your countries in" (your COUNTRY'S
in); "the rest of the worlds oil" (WORLD'S oil); "He cant find any
weapons" (he CAN'T) "lets start awar!" (LET'S start); "he is sat on the
rest of the worlds oil?" (WORLD'S oil).

I forgive you your typos ("awar" and "he is sat") because you were
clearly foaming at the ol' mouth when you wrote that. Anyway, I
sympathize with you; I know the English language is sloppy and fucked-up
-- you don't have to look beyond who created it to know why.
Anyway, thanks again for the giggles. Nice Dead Kennedys reference, by
the way -- a much better band than CRASS.

El Rey
Reigning Pimp, Royal Ho House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha


> Dear Moron
> Do you have any idea of the irony of an American (retard) correcting
> anyone on anything, especially an English person, on their English? We
> invented it; we can do what we like with it. How dare you "mock",
> "take the piss" or some other term you might be able to understand, my
> use of my language. What with your amazing reading and writing talents
> (which I admit makes you more intelligent than most of your
> countrymen) why don't you become an English teacher, or were you using
> a spell check, all this work too much for your poor American hands,
> did you get your maid to do it. And you still spelt ALUMINIUM wrong on
> your retarded (American) page.
>
> And I hate to have to point this out, but if "Limeys like to use more
> SYLLABLES than necessary because they love the sound of their own
> voices" why am I using long words in an email? That is the difference
> between you and me, diction my poor backward friend, diction, the
> ability to use the language as it was intended, it is a poetic
> language, try your best to use more than 39 words interspersed with
> "err", "gee", "like", "man", "dude" and "what". It just sounds feeble
> minded. Sorry if me using as much of my vocabulary confused you and
> made you go and get the ENGLISH dictionary, it sounds better than
> using the same words over and over. This language is the most widely
> used in the world, your just bitter you didn't invent it so you do
> your best to belittle it.
>
> And I noticed you didn't post the same reply on your page as the one
> you sent to me, was there any reason for that, they were both pathetic
> and your arguments had so many holes in it couldn't even be used as a
> net (not the name).
>
> And if the French were so damn superior then why didn't they win, is it
> because we were better organized, trained, equipped and supported.
> Which is why you won when you rebelled, we had trained, organized and
> equipped you, and you repay us by kicking us out. And if the French
> are so damn good than why do you hate Canada so much? Didn't do it
> very well though did you, you still blame us for the mess your
> countries in, I thought you had got rid of the British legal code and
> started again with senate and congress and all that shite, doesn't
> seem such a good idea now does it now that you have a person running
> your country who is retarded even by American standards and the rest
> of the world just laughs at. Your country is actually run by the big
> corporations, the only reason guns aren't banned in America is because
> the gun companies make lots of money and donate quite a bit of it to
> politicians, in most languages that\222s a bribe. Come on, think about
> this... an American, who somehow becomes the most powerful guy in the
> world (probably because daddy has a few friends in high places) and
> his family is tied to the oil business. There is a guy who hasn't
> provoked him, but "might", who just HAPPENS to be sitting where pretty
> much the rest of the worlds oil, so what does he do? He tries to start
> a war with them (bringing OUR soldiers, man for man THE best army in
> the known universe with him because you cant do the job)
> If he has any weapons of mass destruction. He cant find any weapons so
> he now says "they must be hiding them, lets start a war!" doesn\222t this
> have anything to do with the fact he is sat on the rest of the worlds
> oil? I wonder...
>
> As the Dead Kennedys put it
> the chessboards filling up with red
> but we make more profits when we blow off the heads! Economy is looking
> bad lets start another war
> (when ya get drafted)
>
> AND WHAT IS WITH THE MOST ANNOYING SOUND IN THE WORLD EVER? No, not the
> backstreet boys, or even destiny\222s child (quality imports, thanks ;) )
> but dumbass brainwashed cocksucking man-twats chanting U S A! U S A! U
> S A! Repeatedly, as though that makes the superior or something. There
> is a line between patriotism, and just mindless conformity, and the
> majority of American men women and children have run over the line
> about a mile back (probably still fucking chanting U S A! U S A!)
>
> I don\222t think you can "mock" our justice system really, I mean did U
> hear about the guy from London (the only place in Britain Americans in
> general know about) who is now suing McDonalds for making him fat? No,
> silly me, that was America!
>
> Or how our deputy Prime Minister, just HAPPENED to be the guy in charge
> of choosing the deputy Prime Minister? No, no, that was America again;
> (got to love that Dick of a vice president you got there...) Childish?
> Me?
>
> And I personally think our greatest act as a people, not counting all
> the millions of British inventors who you will have no idea about
> because and American education is an education in Americans (if you
> didn't do it, it didn't happen), I think it was making America,
> because we gave everyone else something to look at and think "we don't
> wanna end up like the fucking yanks do we".
>
> Did U go and see that U571 film about how the Americans uncovered the
> enigma coding device? Unfortunately, that film was set months before U
> cowards even joined the war!
> "Just airbrush history to make us look better, brainwash these dumb
> twats and make a few more million out of our perfect capitalist
> paradise" Job done
>
> Also, I loved your Mormon - Junkie page, I've added my own column,
> guess what it is?

>
> Mormons
>
> have "holier than thou" attitudes
> believe they possess priviledged spiritual knowledge and practices set
> themselves apart from others
> often bring converts (esp. boy/girlfriends) into the fold
> new coverts especially zealous
> ex-mormons often bitter and preachy
> often conform to mormon socio-cultural cliche's while quoting from,
> "The Road Less Traveled"
> adherents willingly sacrifice autonomy to higher power--> GOD
> participants regularly partake of a sacrament --bread (symbolizing the
> body of christ), and water (symbolizing the blood of christ)--
> ceremoniously eaten from trays
>
> the junkie
>
> have "unholier than though" attitudes
> consider themselves street-smart like mtv gangsta rappers
> set themselves apart from others
> often bring converts (esp. boy/girlfriends) into the fold
> new coverts especially zealous
> ex-junkies often become preachy and bitter
> often fulfill junkie socio-cultural cliche's while touting
> individuality and quoting lyrics from dead punk rockers
> adherents willingly sacrifice autonomy to higher power--> SMACK
> participants regularly partake of a sacrament--smack--ceremoniously
> cooked in a spoon, drawn up through a cotton filter (for purification)
> and inserted into vein
>
> Americans
>
> have "holier than thou" attitudes
> believe they possess priviledged spiritual knowledge and practices set
> themselves apart from others
> New converts (children) brainwashed into believing the american dream
> people screwed by the american dream often bitter and preachy
> often conform to Americas socio-cultural cliche's (like football, a
> game where you THROW THE BALL!)
> adherents willingly sacrifice autonomy to higher power--> GOD, or just
> amrica on the whole
> participants regularly partake of a sacrament - ALL THE PROPAGANDA SHIT
> THAT AMERICA FORCES DOWN THEIR THROATS
>
> And one last thing, well done for knowing what France and Spain are,
> that\222s two more countries than most Americans know about. Do you know
> where they are?
>
> Thanks for your email, it has reassured my opinion of America, and
> myself cheers buddy - as you xenophobic twats like to say (NOTE THE
> IRONY)